I hate that I’m so in love with you
it hurts, all of this hurts so bad. He doesn’t act the same anymore, he doesn’t let me even touch his phone but he could take mine whenever he wants it… It isn’t fair, it isn’t fair that I’m madly in love with him and he only really tells me he loves when he wants to fuck or get a nut off. It isn’t fair. He’s tearing me apart and I’m letting him but I don’t know how to stop it. And I don’t want to bring this feeling up to him because I don’t want him to be mad at me, he’s always mad at me… I really don’t want him to give up on me, I really cannot lose him. I’m so attached.. I’ve NEVER FELT THIS WAY ABOUT ANYONE ELSE! I used to be the girl who never cares about a nigga, and never took them serious because they were all the same. And maybe that is still true but I can’t let go of this one, I really cannot and I really don’t want to. It’s the terrifying truth and I hate it. Yea I’ve messed up in the past but now I thought we’ve moved on but I guess not. And he I know he’s hiding something. I went through his phone but only for a quick second because he snatched it out of my hands and told me he doesn’t like people going through his stuff and I just take things the wrong way. wtf is that supposed to mean?!? I hate this, idk how long I’ll be able to deal with this, I really don’t know. It’s like I really want to spend the rest of my life with him I really do, but does he want the same? Or does he just tell me he does to get me to shutup and stop crying.. Just telling me what I want to hear? It hurts so bad, I cry everyday. This is not me, the old me would’ve been left and moved on so fast. But there’s something he did to me, something about him that I really cannot let go of. Maybe it’s because he’s met my family or that I really true ky care for him so much. I just don’t know anymore, I do t know what to do. But I know he loves me…. I know you love me baby, just not like how I love you.